Put That in Your Trumpet and Smoke It

I am the self-proclaimed, indisputably least political human being ever.
The only election I've ever really gotten excited about was Alexander Payne's.
I have developed the habit of answering "Who did you vote for?" with a question of my own: "When was the last time you had sex?" It's that personal, and that inappropriate to discuss with complete strangers.
I don't even particularly like overly aggressive salespeople -- which is basically what most politicians amount to -- and no snarky, well-heeled chick from, say, Victoria's Secret has ever interrupted my evening television program to tell me why she's the best salesgirl for me, why her store should be my only choice, or that the unfortunate girl working down the mall at Frederick's of Hollywood may actually be a spy/terrorist/socialist.
That being said.
This is an important day. Rarely do we know that going into a day so when we do, it should be with eyes and ears open. Wide awake and paying attention.
I'm not going to lecture you on your duty, what's at stake, historical significance -- can't you just hear the trumpets starting in behind me -- mostly because I have no damn idea about any of that stuff. I told you. Least political person. Ever.
But I do think this buzz in the air, this "calm before the storm" feeling that's permeating the city -- the country -- is pretty exciting. We need something to get fired up about and stand behind, don't we? A little inspirational kick in the pants. No matter what tomorrow morning looks like, it will look different than tonight. And I feel like most people, regardless of which way you lean (and I could care less, frankly) think different sounds good.
So here's the only thing I want to ask of you.
Please, if your candidate doesn't win, spare us the melodrama that you're moving to Canada. Just shut up about it and pack, if that's really how you feel.
I'm just really proud to live somewhere (trumpets again?) where we can talk about it -- let alone fight about it and then mock it all irreverently on Saturday Night.
Just vote.
But more importantly, in my mind, pray about what will be best for this country, and then follow your heart in that direction.
We're gonna be just fine.
I'd bet my trumpet on it.