Meeting Minutes of The Lunch Ones: January

*Meeting originally called for 12:00. Meeting moved to 11:30 because we're all hungry pigs.

*The Tiny One held up meeting start six minutes, by trying to cook her food in the crowded microwave room 30 seconds at a time.

*The Funny One decided that The Cute One* needed to immediately change her status update to “single and ready to mingle” and then go mingle. Leading to discussions including, but not limited to:
          *Can the oldest and the youngest among us mingle in the same spots?
          *The pros and cons of online dating.
          *How long it would take TCO, or any of us, to get Ruffied if we followed TFO's dating advice.
          *TFO’s thoughts on how slutty she would be if she was single.

Which led to...

*The Blonde One feeling compelled to speak up when TFO demanded TCO explain the current state of her cherry.

*Some confusion as to whether TCO is a virgin or not. TCO herself seems... unsure.

*The Number discussion, after I blurted my discovery from last night: I’m Facebook friends with more than half of my Number. The number ranged from unsure (TCO, see above) to two (I’ll never tell) to unsure (TFO, for very different reasons than TCO).

Which led to...

*Discussion on who among us were good girls, and who were less than. Four of five agreed that we were all good girls, TFO being the only, and obvious, exception. Rather than disputing our findings, TFO told a story about schlongs.

*Horrible, ugly laughter (me, again) when TCO expressed confusion, requiring an explanation (graphic) that schlongs are not, in fact, male underwear ("I thought a shlong was, you know, like, a thong for a guy"). TCO now familiar with the term “banana hammock” and charged with finding one appropriate way to use it in a sentence before our next meeting.

*Discussion on facial hair (male) prompted by unidentified, questionably cute, hairy-faced boy entering the cafeteria. TCO and TBO, against. TTO, depends on the man and the amount of scruffiness. TFO, totally for: “The dirtier the better.” No surprise there.

General consensus and overall takeaway: sex is way more fun to talk about at lunch than poop.


*Formerly known as The Baby One. Too much confusion with two TBOs. Started to call her The Little One, but since there’s already a Tiny One I was afraid readers would think I was lunching at a daycare center or with midgets. Also, no titles here are meant to imply that each of these girls is not, in her own right, funny, tiny, or cute. They are all equally funny, tiny, and cute. But only The Blonde One is blonde.