New Year, New You

That really bothers me.
Which is ironic, because what really bothers me is people who talk too much about stuff that bothers them in general public-type situations.
(I'm not saying don't talk to your friends about stuff that's bothering you. I'm not saying don't tell your significant other every little thing about him/her that bothers you. (I'm also more often than not single, so...) I'm mostly talking, for example, to my fellow Facebookers who use their status updates - which goes out to a few hundred basic acquaintances - to say things like Sally Shmoe has bunions and no heat and smelly neighbors. Or worse, Julio Jones has to go to the grocery store after work tonight, which is a real bummer because it's always pretty crowded after work. Seriously? That's all you can think to tell the world? It's uncreative and it brings people down, which is the antithesis of what a Facebook status should do if you ask me. Which you didn't, but it's my blog.)
Back to my point.
New Year, New You.
That really bothers me.
For one thing, it's completely unoriginal. Every year, and I mean every year, starting around the first of December through mid-January, you see it. It headlines magazines. Self-help books. News programs. Entertainment programs. Everywhere you look, it seems, the world is reminding you that perhaps you've once again failed to make anything of yourself, but don't worry - January first the slate is clean.
In theory, I can get behind this. We all probably come up to the end of a year thinking about things we meant to get done, places we'd wanted to go, problems we'd promised ourselves we would fix. So go ahead and make those resolutions. Find some comfort and some hope in a fresh start.
But a whole new you? Really? Was last year so bad that you need to completely redefine yourself? Reinvent yourself? Be someone else?
Take me, for example. 2009 was a year that should make me a prime NYNY candidate. (Not New York, you fools. Try to keep up.) I was single for most of the year. About halfway through I very unexpectedly got caught up in this crappy economy and lost my job. So believe you me, I've got big plans for 2010 going a little differently.
But I also spend a lot of time beating myself up for a lot of things, and getting bombarded by media telling me that it's okay; they're here to help me ditch the loser version of last year's Jessica and upgrade me to a totally new and better model.
Well screw you. I kind of like messed up, old school Jessica. And some other people do, too. Maybe just because she provides limitless amounts of comedy with her foibles and fuck ups, but still. That's got to count for something. And maybe she's been unemployed for a really long time, but you know what? She's okay with that. You heard me. Because she's an artist, and sometimes artists need a break from getting paid for crap so that they can fill their days with non-crap. I'm sure there are people that think she's lazy. But she's not. She's really not at all. She's just different than people who have different priorities.
And she may make jokes about being temperamentally unfit for love. But she's not. And no "womens' " magazine or "self-help" book is going to convince her that she is, and that only they have the key to turning it all around. She'll find him. He'll understand her. That'll be that.
Sure, there are some things I'd like to do differently this year. Like not suddenly slip into fits of third person self-description. But do I need to be someone new to do that? Does Jessica?
No. So New Year, yes. New You, no thanks. I'll just keep polishing up the old one.