Anticipation

Hi all. Can you believe it's the last day of summer? Mixed emotions, certainly. It's a stunning end to my favorite season, to be sure - I'm broadcasting live right now from my back deck, squinting at the screen and wishing desperately it could stay like this till spring.
It's been an interesting summer. Usually right about this time I start to get a little depressed, or anxious maybe is a better way to describe it. I love fall, I love football and sweaters and all that, but the thought of impending winter gives me heart palpitations. But this year things feel a little different. Scary, but different. Sort of exciting. The air doesn't feel stagnant like it usually does - it feels like stuff is happening. And not just in my own little life but in general. It's making me some kind of restless, impatient little girl.
I haven't written much lately, the weird result of some kind of reverse writer's block. I've got so much on my mind that it's been tough to sift through and put into words. I can't tell you all how many times I've sat down to write to you and quickly given up in frustration, because I don't know where to begin.
I keep saying it's good that the weather will turn soon, because it'll make me crack down and get to work. I am full of shit. It is not good. And it just means that I will have to find evermore creative ways to procrastinate, and I'll have to do it while fighting off bouts of cabin fever.
But at the end of this winter, my ninth - ninth! - in New York, everything is going to look different. I'm at the end of a very, very long wait.