Does This Make Me Sound Self-Involved?

Hi all. For any of you last-minute shoppers who are still wondering what this very, very nice girl would like for Christmas, I've decided to compile a list. I call it "My Christmas List" which I think is very catchy. I realize that, as a nice girl, you are thinking I should wish for things like world peace, but you are confused. Those are beauty pageant contestants, not nice girls. (I do not mean to imply that beauty pageant girls cannot also be nice. Love you, Kristen.) "My Christmas List" is just for me. If you want world peace, go make your own list. That did not sound very Christmas-y, so you might be doubting that I am, in fact, a nice girl, but it was not meant to sound snarky or rude, but rather as a simple suggestion that anyone can create their very own "My Christmas List," as it's not exclusive to me or patented at this point.
*A cozy, loving, laugh-filled meal with every single person I love and lots of champagne.
*A new Rebecca Minkoff.
*The willpower to stop eating salt and vinegar potato chips. After I finish this bag, of course.
*Or a gift certificate for plastic surgery so I don't have to stop eating them. Ever.
*Edward. If you have to ask, you don't understand. If you don't understand, you're not as pathetically lame as me.
*If not Edward, because he's not actually real and I don't want Robert Pattinson, then I would please like the one real man who would passionately and earnestly love me through infinity. Who cannot live without me. Who will on occasion do something romantic and otherworldly like be sitting on my front steps when I get home because he had to tell me, face-to-face, that he's sorry for leaving/hurting/doubting me and would I please, please give him a second (hundredth) chance to treat me like I deserve. I thought I was happy with a drama-free life, but I'm learning that seems to mean a passion-free life and I'm a passionate person. I'd rather deal with the drama than live without the passion. This is getting a bit off point for a Christmas list.
*North Carolina.
*Facebook I can use telepathically so I'm not glued to my computer for so many hours a day.
*A super fast car that will get me home to my family more quickly than the economy-size Hyundai or other such atrocity that is available through Budget Rental Cars. With a killer stereo because that's a long way to drive no matter how fast I'm going, and I need to entertain myself.
I think this is a very good list. If you would like to giftpool (you know, like carpooling, where you team up to share the burden) on some of the bigger items that is fine. Please do not giftpool on small items like a purse or a car, because that is cheap. I have not registered anywhere because that it considered gauche in some circles and I do not wish to offend. If you would like to veer off the list and can think of something creative and unique and well-suited to me, I am fine with that as well.
One week till Christmas!!!